In A Remix

I have yet to post anything super personal on my blog, so I am not sure how this will go. If you're willing (or simply interested), keep reading and we will see what the Lord will have me write.

Last Wednesday, I tried out a new Bible Study at the church Matt and I have been visiting since we got married. The study is the newest material written by Beth Moore, called "Children of the Day" and is based on 1 and 2 Thessalonians. It is a video series, so for this first session we watched the introductory video. In it, Beth Moore set the scene for when 1 Thessalonians was written. She focused her talk on the three writers of the Thessalonians letters: Paul, Silvanus (Silas), and Timothy, and how they came together. You see, when Paul wrote these letters with these men, he had just come through a challenging time in his life. Previously, Paul had been traveling and preaching with a different man named Barnabas. Of course the journeys were not always easy, but they were grateful to be together serving the Lord. Then in Acts 15, something changed. Paul and Barnabas had a HUGE disagreement over whether or not another man should come with them on their trip. In fact, they were in such conflict that they parted ways and Paul began his journey with Silas and then Timothy joined later. Now, even though it was God's will that Paul and Barnabas be separated, I highly doubt it was a clean break. I bet there was some hurt and brokenness due to the change in that relationship. Beth Moore referred to this incident as a "remix." Paul and Barnabas were in God's will, working together and sharing the gospel, and their ministry was experiencing astronomical growth. Then suddenly, it all had to change, whether they liked it or not. Paul was living "in a remix" that God had orchestrated in order to move him to where God intended him to be, whether he wanted to go or not.

While I sat there watching that video, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Everything I had been experiencing and struggling with in the last three and a half months had been described in one word: Remix. Literally EVERYTHING in my life has changed. I have left my hometown, my family, my best friends, my incredible church family, my jobs, my school, my ministry (which was growing in amazing ways), my community, everything. Plus I got married, which means that my day-to-day life and my very status has changed. All this change has been much harder than I ever imagined it would be. College was an easy transition for me. I embraced the changes it brought my freshman year and I loved every minute of living that new adventure. So of course, I thought I would handle other changes well too. In short, umm no. Not at all. For those of you that know me, I am not usually much of a crier. I cannot count the number of times I have cried in the last few months. And just so I've said it, I personally hate crying. It doesn't make me feel better.

Reflecting on being "in a remix", I am still very much in the midst of it. I have yet to come out on the other side and be able to say, "Wow God, this is what You wanted to give me. This is so much better than what I had. Thank you!" Nope, not there yet. Although things have gotten better over the past few weeks, it is still hard. There are still lots of things I feel like I am missing out on by not living in Raleigh anymore. I miss having friends to hang out with, I miss grad school (although hopefully I can take more classes in January), and I miss my old church and the comfort and familiarity it provided. However, I can already sense how much the Lord has grown me since June. I have seen Him provide for Matt and I beyond what we ever imagined was possible, and I am starting to get excited about the new church we have been attending. Although it still makes me sad to be away from people and a place I love, I look forward to what God has for me on the other side of this "remix."

And a word of encouragement to those of you that might feel as though you are going through a time of "remix" in your own life, I know how hard it is and how hurt and angry you can feel because of it. However, I also know that this is not my first rodeo with a remix. I have gone through difficult changes before, and I promise that one day you will look back and see that at least some of the changes were good. By no means are these changes easy, but they are good. And sometimes, we need to have a remix for the Lord to teach us something important that we will carry with us for many years to come. Quoting an old famous church line, "God is good all the time, and all the time God is good." May sound cliche', but I find it to be truthful. We have to learn to live beyond our feelings and not let our emotions trap us in self-pity and anger. If we choose joy, it will be much easier to see the good in our changes. I say this for myself as much as anyone else. So readers, if you get anything out of this post, let it be this: change is hard, but we must make the conscious decision to choose joy. If we don't, we will feel even more lonely and we will become more bitter. If we do, we will catch a glimpse of the glory of our Lord and we will begin to see what marvelous plans He has laid out for us.

 Until next time.

Helpful Article on Grocery Shopping

Hey everyone!

It's been a while since I posted but I came across this article and wanted to pass it on to y'all. This is an article from the Raleigh News and Observer website and it's a great reference tool for knowing what you should spend on groceries. When you start off with trying to save money and Couponing, it's sometimes hard to know what is actually a good deal, especially if you are young like me and are still learning how to grocery shop well! Anyway, I hope this is helpful!

http://www.wral.com/price-book-best-prices-for-groceries/7385543/