Two days ago was Ash Wednesday, and I almost missed it.
With all the chaos and craziness that is North Carolina "snows" (this state can't handle any sort of precipitation besides rain), I completely forgot that the 18th was Ash Wednesday. Thank you Facebook, for reminding me. Baptist churches tend to not put much of an emphasis on Ash Wednesday, which is somewhat disappointing. It marks the beginning of Easter season, after all. But anyway, I started thinking about the Lent season that is now upon us. The "traditional" thing to do during Lent is to give something up that you love. Most people give up food, TV, things like that. Now please understand: in no way am I against that practice.
However, I am not "giving up" anything for Lent this year. Instead, I want to "add on" something to these next forty days.
What I mean by that is that I want to focus and put more work into a particular aspect of my life, and that aspect is worship. As a Christian, I am called to worship God in how I live every different aspect of my life. Lately, I have failed miserably at this task. I have really struggled with worshipping and bringing glory to God in the way I live, mainly because I have allowed myself to be overcome by discontentment. My life has changed in some pretty significant ways in the last year. I have gone from being in graduate school while working three jobs while planning my wedding to being married, no longer in school, and struggling to find a permanent job. Life used to move at a million miles a minute and frankly, I loved it that way. I thrived in the busyness and I cherished my rare "days off" where I could catch up on life and rest. Now, my life is quite the opposite. Every day is a "day off." My days move slowly, and I typically have to come up with things to do to keep myself busy. I have decided that one of the reasons I loved being so busy was because it prevented me from overthinking and getting worked up over petty things. I simply did not have the time to do that. Dealing with anxious thoughts has been a daily battle for me lately. Thankfully, being aware of the issue is step #1 toward resolving it, so I'm getting there.
I miss my crazy, busy life. So I have been very discontent with where I currently am. Although I know this is a season in life that I clearly need (otherwise I wouldn't be in it!), knowing that doesn't always make it easier. Therefore, my goal for this Lent season is to take my focus off of my discontentment, and instead put it on worshipping the Lord.
How will I do this, you ask? During these next 40 days, I plan to actively combat my ungratefulness by both journaling and mentally noting things I am thankful for when those thoughts begin creeping back in. I am also going to try and spend more intentional time reading Scripture and praying each day. And since music is a huge part of my life and greatly affects my mental and emotional wellbeing, I plan to listen only to Christian music so that I am constantly reminded of God's goodness. Although it has only been two days, I can already tell this is not going to be easy. It's so much easier to wallow in the pit that is self-pity than it is to pull yourself out of it. Pulling yourself out of that pit requires lots of work, but that work does bring about an invaluable reward that I am certain will be worth it.
I would love to hear what you are doing for Lent, if anything. Comment and let me know your thoughts on the season.
Happy Almost Spring (I hope)!
